by Lawrence S. Jacobs, Esq.
Trying to celebrate Pride Month despite the avalanche of bad news has me thinking about estate planning and why it's so important - especially for non-traditional families. The traditional family dynamic has changed drastically over the past few decades. We're now seeing more non-traditional families - single parents, same-sex couples, blended families, etc. As a result, estate planning has become more important than ever for LGBTQ+ families, unmarried couples, or couples who have children from previous relationships, and parents with stepchildren.
It's so essential for non-traditional families to have a well-thought-out estate plan, including a Will and maybe a trust. Confusion arises because of what happens if you die without a valid Will. In that case, your legally-married spouse is at the top of the list to receive your assets, but only if they survive you. If you are single or in a relationship with someone who is not your legal spouse or if your spouse is not alive and you don’t have children, then your parents, siblings or even cousins are generally the next in line. But the good news is that if you create a valid Will, you get to write your own rules. Members of your family only get what you want them to have – if you want them to have anything at all.
A lot of people feel that it is their familial duty to pass assets on to the next generation or to siblings. You certainly can, but it is rarely a requirement unless you have minor children. Many of my clients think about naming their nieces and nephews as beneficiaries. Yet you have many meaningful options that go beyond enriching those young people who might stand to inherit significant assets from their parents or grandparents.
I pose a simple question: what is it that you worked your whole life to accomplish when you die? Of course, the answer is rarely simple. I challenge you to add up all your assets, including life insurance policies and retirement accounts and to pretend that all that money is in your checking account. Let’s say that number is $2 million. Then write 10 pretend checks of $200,000 each and imagine what would happen if you handed one to each of your family members. Hopefully, the money would achieve something incredibly meaningful to you and to your recipients.
But you might want to consider what that same amount of money would accomplish if it was given to a cause that is meaningful to you, perhaps gay rights, a scholarship at your alma mater, the environment, the performing arts, animal welfare, or many others – including The Community Foundation! In reality, your assets could be enough to change the world and allow you to leave a truly meaningful legacy.
I realize that all this is deeply personal and do not intend to make light of the serious choices involved. However, many people do not think through the consequences and alternatives of simply telling their lawyer to draft a Will “that divides my assets among my family when I die.” And you may relate to the alternatives more happily than to the people who share your genes, while making the DMV a better place.
Lawrence (Larry) has helped more than a thousand couples and singles in the Washington, D.C. Metropolitan Area protect their assets and loved ones through carefully-crafted estate planning strategies and documents. He has been a vocal advocate for the LGBT community in Maryland for nearly 30 years. Larry is a shareholder at McMillan Metro, P.C. and has practiced law for 48 years. He is admitted to the bars of Maryland, Virginia and the District of Columbia.
This post should not be misconstrued as legal advice but intended for Educational Purposes Only. Contact your advisor(s) for advice on your specific circumstances.